Starting somewhere.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with the idea of blogs. “Hello, Internet! Here I am, in all of my self-righteousness! Listen to what I have to say! I’m going to tell you everything that’s happening in my life and you better comment or share so other people can know about my life too!”

Well, that’s how it comes across sometimes. Other times, it’s a really great tool for sharing ideas, spreading *important* information, and overall entertainment. I follow several blogs, written by people I actually know in real life and by people I’ve never and probably won’t ever meet in this life. Each blog that I follow serves its purpose and I enjoy the information I get from them. They aren’t self-indulgent; the bloggers know not to do this, that’s how they got popular.

With that being said, I have a confession: I’ve wanted to start a blog of my own for about a year and a half now. But something was holding me back. I was waiting for this giant epiphany to hit me about what the theme of my blog would be. Food, health, faith, crafts, art, creative nonfiction, photography, personal stories….the possibilities are endless. How the heck could I start a blog without a theme? That seemed like a sin of blogging; you can’t just START a blog with no idea where you’re headed.

Guess what?

 

I just did. Ha.

Just kidding – I actually do have some ideas for things I’d like to write about and photos I’d like to post. But really, who can plan that far ahead? #notme

Okay, now I’m rambling about something that has no importance.

I guess the point of my opening post is that blogs have their place in today’s society. The two keys are: to do things worth writing about, and to write things worth reading about. So begins my mission.

[conviction] — firmly held belief or opinion; beliefs, opinions, views, thoughts, persuasions, ideas, positions, stances.

This definition of the word “conviction,” while less common than the other definition of declaring someone guilty, is striking to me. I like that we use the same word for both things – both a strongly held stance, and finding someone guilty for their offenses in a court of law. The first definition, the one about beliefs, seems positive, while obviously the latter is more negative; it’s kind of like they balance each other out a little bit. Or something. Maybe I’m getting too deep for a first post.

 

[convictions of a college girl] – this is my blog because I’m in college and I have lots of convictions. One of those convictions is the fact that I am still finding my opinions on a lot of things. The title is cheesy, I know; but as a good friend just said to me, cheese is an important part of a balanced diet. So eat it up, folks!

 

  1. I like lists
  2. Colorado is my home.
  3. I have these random obsessions;; like food styling and photography, and calligraphy, and song lyrics, and crocodiles, and mudskippers, and coffee, and reading while on the elliptical
  4. I am filled to the brim with dichotomies – like 1) being okay with bearing my soul to complete strangers and giant crowds but being scared to death of getting real and vulnerable with people I love. Or 2) writing in mostly poetic language, but then getting angry when other people do that because it’s cheesy. Or 3) loving food and hating myself after eating too much. Or 4) Finding crying a beautiful and healthy thing and yet hardly ever being able to do it myself, and when the tears come, trying to suppress them and blink them away. Or 5) Being inspired by the lives of all the people I follow on Instagram from all over the world while I sit on my couch for hours. Or 6) Being interested in so many things that I don’t even know where to start so I never begin.
  5. Jesus is an amazing guy that I’m getting to know more and more every day. He already knows everything about me, which is pretty awesome; I don’t have to impress him with my knowledge of cooking or musical theatre. And he’s not expecting me to memorize the entire Bible or never do anything bad ever again. He wanted me to let him join me on my ride of life, and I wanted to follow him wholeheartedly. It worked out well.
  6. Fascinated by coffee, I am (I hate starting sentences with “I” so I try to avoid it when possible, even if that means sounding like Yoda). Someday I will know how to pour a perfect latte. I look forward to that day. And one day I’ll make my own latte flavors. Almond rosemary is my latest idea; I need to try it sometime.
  7. I secretly want to write a book, but who doesn’t, if they could?
  8. I have this thing about listening. It’s kind of a super genuinely stunning quality that humans may or may not be slowly losing. I feel like my purpose [or part of it] is to encourage people to be better listeners (I say this as I’m listing off things about me; ha. But something I’m learning is that talking about yourself does not always equate narcissism, but it often leads to it. But I don’t have to feel guilty over sharing who I am).
  9. I like telling stories and writing songs, but sometimes I’m afraid–
  10. Scratch that. Most of the time I am afraid. Super afraid. Like way anxious-ridden afraid. I’m afraid of what people think of me at every moment of every day. How they scrutinize everything from my outfit to my figure, to the words that spill of out my head that I either transfer to written words, that come tumbling out of my mouth. This is something I work on daily, like everyone else does with their own struggles. And guess what? We could all help each other out with our problems, instead of digging them out of each other, holding them in the air and shouting “I found her flaws! Everyone look at her insecurities!”
  11. I have issues. Sometimes I think way too much. I think we all do. But I just wanted to remind everyone. You’re welcome for your daily reminder.
  12. I like people.
  13. I used to hate listening to live versions of songs because I preferred the perfect, edited studio recordings. But now I like live versions because these, like life, are full of little voice cracks, mistakes, pitch issues, rhythm problems, and little stops and starts. And life is raw and real and in-the-moment. So I like my music that way now too.

 

So, here I am, in all of my glory. Blogs are weird; blogs can be self-indulgent; blogs can take over one’s life. I don’t want that to be this. I just want this to be a place that I can share my heart with you, dear reader, cheesiness and all. Because my heart is dripping with cheese. And then hidden beneath all that cheese is some truth and some conviction that I want to give to you, place in your hands and let you do what you want with it. So begins the journey; I’ve gotta start somewhere, it might as well be right now on a Friday night, in my bedroom, as I listen to my dog snore on my bed. Welcome to my world; thanks for stepping in the door!

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